i mean really, i cant compete with a cucumber
I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
taking shots each time the weatherman says Dont go out in this blizzard
I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack
his penis was the training wheels of my sex life
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
she refused to get out of the dog cage till we sang "be our guest" to her.
So apparently the christmas orgy was a complete disaster
This is a test of Andrews drunk texting, had this been an actual drunk text, all the words would be spelled incorrectly and would be missing key verbs and nouns, followed by a request to not get fired.
You have not lived until you've puked on your sequined UGGs in the Rite Aid parking lot while going to buy emergency contraceptives.
If you think you're having a bad day, know that upon waking up, I was informed that I blew my nose in a piece of bread last night
On another note; I'm three days away from being 1/12th of my way from not having sex for a year. I need to get laid.
If you had a dick, I would hope it falls off and comes back to haunt you while fucking your ears at night. But you don't. But if you did, that's how mad I am at you
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
I just realized that this is the first time I've ever seen your mom without sucking your cock.
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