grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
You do realize that you tried to eat the neighbors cat because the dominos guy was 5 minutes late. You would have succeeded if we didnt stop you.
Im just a social blackout drinker.
Her pussy was so beautiful. That's what I'LL miss the most. Not the omelets. You're the roommate, obviously our priorities on this situation are vastly different.
I can feel myself smiling like 10 minutes after I stop smiling, and that's just like... so awesome.
Instead of sending me a picture of his dick, he sent me a drawing of it on drawsomething. This game is getting out of control.
I've got beer and a bag of saltwater taffy and croutons, is that enough for this typhoon thing?
You pretended to pelvic thrust my mother on the boat while my 92 year old grandmother looked on. Thanks.
It's either gonna be a cock in my mouth or a burger. You decide which.
You brought string cheese to the strip club
Like I wasn't going to make out with the hot Australian sitting next to me at the Portland blazer game?
We lost a person.... if you see a man in yellow shorts and nothing else walking around let me know...
Sorry I threw up all over your Lyft.
It's ok I woke up next to a dumpster.
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
Randomize
