I want to come over to your house, give you money for liquor, fuck you, and then kick it untill I have to go home. Was that blatent enough for you?
I've never had a man I enjoyed more than steak
i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
he wanted me to dress up like someone from lord of the rings. I dumped him.
That shot tasted like Sant Claus came in my mouth. I love the holidays.
She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
The two guys from next door helped him do a backflip. The ended up throwing him halfway through a ceiling tile. Don't worry, we fixed it with duct tape.
Just so you know, you're MY booty call. Feel degraded.
Did you know that if you hit someone in the head with a frozen loaf of bread you can knock them unconscious?
You know it's going to be a good night when you're barking by 8:20.
His dad was on the tv delivering the local 11 o' clock news while we were having sex
I can always pull a half day at work too. My boss makes exceptions for drug use. Lol. I fucking love my job.
HE IS. YOU SHOULD TOUCH HIS BACK.
IT IS A COURTSHIP RITUAL.
THE MUTUAL BUTT TOUCH IS SACRED.
just had an allergic reaction to my dildo. My life is ruined.
We found him. He just came running out of the closet with a bruise on his face saying he has been fighting elves in Narnia for a year.
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