you were running down the aisles of wal mart singing 'follow the yellowbrick road'. i'm pretty sure you thought the night shift workers were the munchkins & started crying when they wouldnt help u find the wizard. needless to say u were pretty stoned/wasted
you were licking his little sister's watercolors and trying to paint with your tongue.
We are possibly on our way, unless we see the limo full of strippers.
Just saw the stripper pole on the road that we threw out of the party bus last night
Instead of politely asking me to shave, he passive-aggressively left me a groupon for a bikini wax. So I passive-aggresively fucked his roommate. And his roommate didn't mind my bush when he went down on me. Anyway, do you want the groupon or not?
It's like the blind leading the senile over here.
UPDATE: shit just got real- grandma is threatening to beat grandpa with a wooden spoon covered in chili.
Suppose hypothetically u received a request for face time communication with a gentleman who looked astonishingly like a penis. Would you indulge him in conversation? Hypothetically of course.
You told us that you don't have to wait in line at Taco Bell. Then, drove up to the window and grabbed someone else's food.
Just say the word and u can be elbow deep in this glorious rack
This is why I love you...
Just had a guy try to pull the maraca out of my shirt with his teeth... Wtf
I needed 3am water. Not 3am shots of rum.
I woke up this morning with a tampon in my nose and food EVERYWHERE...
I was 40 minutes late to work today because I was getting fucked. Walked in to discover that it's apparently performance review day. Employee of the year.
what do u think we would be doing right now if we were together
Urinating on unicorns
im pretty sure i tried to use axe body spray to cover up the strong urine smell coming from my jeans. im also pretty sure that it didnt work.
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