So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
why is there a sandwich nailed to the wall
we got hammered off table wine and i ended up biting my acrylic nail off so i could finger his butt.. ill never look at valentines day the same
You know its a good sign when a girl asks who everyone is AFTER she flashes her tits to the room.
Remind me to switch to jello when you decide to do shots off my ass. It's so much easier to clean than this pudding.
I love it. Like, more than my penis at the moment.
I may, or may not have licked his face in an Applebee's.
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
I told him I was on the pill and it was OK to fire away. I want to never have to wear panty house or ever go to an office again. This is my early retirement plan. I want half of his NBA money.
I spent most of my night in the men's room eating popcorn on the garbage can conversing with strangers pissing
do you think your dog feels awkward being in the background of your nudes?
I have shit my pants twice this week. #adulthood
So i've noticed that drunk me erases sent messages to hide them from sober me, because drunk me knows that sober me will be PISSED at drunk me.
You know that tattoo place next to Dallas? The naked sexy frog on my neck is proof that their "won't tattoo if drunk" sign is bullshit!
Randomize
