do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
Yeah, I just met her and we got arrested together. I think it was a good bonding experience.
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
A guy wearing a hard hat while floating the river. It's the most responsible drinking we saw all day.
omg i met someone at the bar who sells hair feathers. that are long. saved in my phone as "haiirs deather"
What sexual position says im sorry for your loss?
there is an extreme lack of margarita in my mouth.
My phone broke again .... im not really sure how im going 2 explain the teeth marks to the ppl at the Verizon store
You know how the doctor said I need to stop being vegan unless I find a way to get more protein? There's protein in beer. The doctor wants me to drink more beer.
You disappeared for 10 minutes. Then came back with nothing but your boxers and a life jacket on to tell us we were all screwed when the flood came and you would be the only survivor.
Why is no one on Snapchat tonight? I want to see other people having fun so I know it still exists.
I accidentally just texted my dad asking if he wants to do shrooms with me. Do I leave the city now or...
Yeah, we got drunk and stole road signs.
She woke up, mumbled "the trees" When i asked her what about them, she yelled "WE NEED THEM FOR OXYGEN," Then went back to sleep.
We need to get on her level.
I don’t know how you celebrated 4/20 but I set a Payless trash can on fire
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