Where did you get a picture of my penis
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
Counseling BFF to break up with her BF. We will get that 3-way
I don't want to talk. I just want to motorboat those tits
She just had to change the song on the radio cause I was tap dancing on her windshield
I LEAVE YOU TWO ALONE FOR 45 MINUTES AND ALL MY WHIPPED CREAM AND CONDOMS ARE GONE
My team for a project is gonna have weekly meetings at a bar. yessss. they will do all the work while i thor hammer down beers.
You go to bars with sophisticated older men, I steal lawn ornaments. Priorities
Gross! What the hell is that?!?
It's quite clearly a man posing erotically with multiple packages of bacon.
I broke her handcuffs. I feel like an animal.
I'm getting 800 nuggets from McDonald's
I swear to god if you settle for a trump supporting packers fan, I will not acknowledge your children. You're better than that.
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
So unofficially, he told me he deleted tinder because of me. I think that's a pretty romantic gesture in 2018.
I'm like a bad decision making factory. I need to sit down and have a chat with my decision making elves.
Randomize
