I wasn't trying to make you feel bad, I just agreed with you that your life does suck.
I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
Asking the cop for directions wearing a lion mask may not have been my best moment...
Like it was the Mama Mia of shit shows. That bad.
I don't know if this whole sobriety thing is going to work out... It's only been 3 days and I want to chug vodka
You were visibly distraught that my boyfriend and I didn't have sex in your bed. You forced us to take your condoms.
She said I had a really great aura. Which I think is hippie code for "I bet you can give me a mind melting orgasm"
If it makes you feel any better, I'm eating a block of cheese...
And here I thought that was one nut sack too many
You kept flirting with some guy while I was throwing up on the sidewalk, and I screamed YOU DON'T LIKE MEN
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
because nothing says “let’s fucking rage” like getting a compensation letter and some company stock
BRB. These cougars are squabbling over my junk and one of them is offering to pay my tuition
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