dude do u know what u did last night?
do i wanna know???
you totally walked in on some couple fuckin in their unlocked dorm room asking for directions to ur room...
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
I wanna die of smoke inhalation. In a huge teepee. Or one of those big things kids in kindergarten have that you throw up in the air then sit inside of.
We were running down las vegas boulevard at 8:30 am with our beers cause we were late for our flight
He needs to seriously stop texting me at 3am for sex. Late night and early morning hours are for the guys who DON'T bust a nut in the first 5 minutes of making out.
Yeah minute men are best for late afternoons when you're inbetween running errands and have nothing to do.
Judging by your snapchat you're totally working on your project and definitely not singing, "The Sign" while shirtless with another man.
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
I have an aggressive hickey on my shoulder and it actually hurts.
His condition for us having sex was that I wore my show boots. #equestrianproblems
Drunk in my hotel room, eating taco bell, and crying at Nicki Minaj's life story.
This is why I keep you in my life.
The boob job was worth every penny just to see the expression of pure joy on his face the first time he saw them.
And you seriously thought you could just walk in naked with a bow tied around your penis?
It seemed like a good idea at the time...
i told her we had a class about unicorns together. i'd say it was a good night
We're sitting on the kitchen floor drinking and talking about mounting real light sabers to the dog's head.
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