I never thought that I'd hear someone utter the words, "I need another studded belt." I was wrong.
you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
What's the point of having 3 fuck buddies when their periods all seem to sync up
Just wrote the directions to get to the girls house im hooking up with on the back of my marriage certificate. Officially worst husband ever.
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
It must be illegal for me to be this drunk in front of this many children
Just spent the last 5 minutes laughing at my epipen. i think i'm too high.
ecstacy + fleshlight = not all that upset about being newly single anymore
When I tried to give you a hickey, you karate chopped me in the neck.
They are the perfect team. One always has weed, the other always has cigarettes. They're like the Batman and Robin of drugs
I'd probably lick every tooth in Carly Rae Jepson's fucking mouth.
Teen Choice Awards are on if your wondering.
I would ride that face into the sunset
Way to fucking accidentally drunk dial me while you're talking to and buying other girls drinks. Don't call me.
Did you get drunk between now and two texts ago?
Randomize
