I'm celebrating tres de junio so if you can help me find some sombreros ill be grateful. Also, today in 1992 Aborigines were granted rights to their land so I might need some boomerangs.
there are 10 yearolds here who keep calling me on the elbow rule!
Wait are they playing beer pong to?
Clearly I understand physics better when I'm on cocaine
Its like I instantly had a mental image of me in my mugshot.
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
got delayed, meet you at the bar soon, found a shopping cart, i am now getting pushed to the bar by some guy that was peeing in the alley i found the cart in
Would jacking off with Benadryl cream be good or bad for the poison oak on my dick?
This is gonna be a long day for my vagina and I
I jammed my finger giving him a hand job. Don't ask how, I'm still trying to figure that out.
My TA is here with a sombrero and an entire bottle of Svedka. Skip jury duty.
Sexting and pancakes... It's going to be hard to top that
In other news, just had to pluck an ingrown pub with the pliers from my multi tool while sitting on the toilet at work.
Just rode a bull topless for a free bar tap for a month
I currently hiding in an upside down garbage can please come find me
Dude we were sitting at my place stoned as fuk then someone knocks on the door and it was my neighbor giving me a huge box of cookie dough. Magic of weed.
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