I got drunk and applied for two credit cards last night. About to find out if anyone in this world is still dumb enough to give me credit.
I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
He went down on me and then slapped my ass saying "thanks for the confidence boost"... is this all I'm good for?
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
He completely dissapeared at the baseball game. We found him passed out at the hotel three hours later with souviner photos of himself at the top of the Sears Tower.
Believe it or not, Travis and I simultaneously breaking beer bottles over eachothers heads was not a good idea.
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
Hamster emergency. Can u come in here
You're a waste of cheezeits
Anddon't worry about me I have my Darth Vader flashlight
I just referred to our excessive fireball consumption as a team building exercise and everyone in group text agreed.
We're not alcoholics, we're a god damn team.
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
Naked. Naked is my favorite color.
How was the tequila? Are you making bad decisions yet?
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