When I went to court, my judge's name was Honorable Ball. I couldn't stop laughing.
that probably didn't help your case.
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
Improvement. She went from pretending she was the soccer ball in the world cup games and it hurt when they kicked her to passed out on the floor.
just looked in the mirror, I fell asleep with a face mask on. At least drunk me cares that much about the condition of my skin
If you can't find your cat in the morning it's cause i put him in the laundry basket and then put the laundry basket in the shower.
perfect irony that i'm celebrating international women's day with a yeast infection
I feel like a cloud. A cloud that wants to be laid.
My chest smells like french fries. Get at me attractive men.
TOUCH YOURSELF. DO IT.
I don't think that's how you're supposed to sext
after he went down on me he said he wanted an air freshener for his car scented like my vag. i cant even.
Nothing says love like couples STD testing
Nothing says breakup like the results
It was just a Craigslist hook up but she wore sweats. Where are the girls with class?
I mean, he's 40, foreign, artsy but with substance abuse problems and estranged children. How is he not my type?
He said I have a comfortable vagina. What does that even mean?
OH GOOD GOD THE BUFFALO WING SAUCE IS BURNING MY FUCKING CUNT. WHY THE FUCK DID I AGREE TO SPICY AND NOT MILD
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