Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
So my prents justed posted "DO NOT DISTURB" on facebook and i just heard their door shut and lock...I'm leaving
Your dad needs a mid life crisis affair thing, I could totally be that girl.
Just bought a beer belt to complete the Captain America outfit. I will do my part as a hero of America to pass out beer to the good citizens of America.
Woke up w/ the same freshman as last Saturday but we were sober this time. Is that a relationship?
do you know how hard it is to bring up the "what do I do if you conk out while we're fucking" conversation while maintaining the dignity of.the narcaleptic girl you just met?
Within the span of 10 minutes, I managed to make a slip 'n slide on his stomach, threatened to pee on him, kneed myself in the eye, and almost fell asleep on the toilet....in that order.
i actually texted him "nice to see you" but then there was a saved draft "i think about you when i get off." dodged that bullet...
Me too, I feel like I pinched your nipples excessively. At the time it seemed like a good idea, but in retrospect I'm not so sure.
I woke up in a bath tub and my face was sore and it wasn't because of you, I was impressed
I'm pretty sure NORMAL roommates don't have to hide each others sex toys from their fuck buddies.
You humped everything and cried in an uber.
i always handshake my one night stand, im classy like that.
This time tomorrow I will be drunk and in a voodoo shop
My mom is dancing slutty on the bar I need more drinks to be ok with this
Randomize
