Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
I just fell for a fake 50 dollar bill in a urinal. Fuck pittsburgh
All I know is I had a penis in one hand a bottle of wine in the other
Nobody knew what to do when it was dead. You said fire up the George Foreman, I've never ate baby shark. She hasn't stopped crying.
Police were closing down the bar due to gunfight and I was crying because they wouldn't let me finish putting temporary shamrock tats on my boobs
in my defence, i did try to get you to put your shirt back on, then you screamed at me to stop telling you what to do
my first words to him the next morning were "do you like magic"?
True idk how my parents didn't know I was blackout. I ate like 4 pieces of cheesecake and showed my cousins my boobs
How did you not realize the handbrakes were stuck?
I thought I was just out of shape.
You continued to run around saying "free the nipple" while "taste testing" every liquor on the premises.
We went camping and met these lesbians and now I have S'mores where there shouldn't be S'mores.
Just tried to do a line with a snorkel I cut off... that is how my Aruba trip is going!
I just made my mom buy me lube. I've reached a new level of broke.
One less thong to worry about.
One less *thing! But probably that too.
Watching a guy pay his tab with a check. Jesus dude...
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