After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
its hard to take this fight seriously when one dude is an oompa loompa, and the other is a "g spot"
How is it possible that i have sex with a guy and he makes YOU breakfast
I went to a bar in my pajamas last night. I'll be there again tonight in a wolf costume.
Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically.
No if my life depended on you fingering me just let me die
I'm FaceTiming Pizza Hut.
You need a sexual gate keeper
so I ate shit in the bar and took a barstool down with me and this guy helped me up and I just started making out with him. I need to stop meeting men like that
I saw a picture of a baby and it reminded me to take my birth control. Priorities
Finally get to put my practical writing degree to use! I'm writing a craigslist ad for a threesome
His name was Dragon. For real. How do you not sleep with a Dragon? Don't judge me.
Pretty sure I'm partying in a onesie right now.
Randomize
