What's the point of having 3 fuck buddies when their periods all seem to sync up
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
We stared down the barrel of pure insanity, took more and the electric elephant god rewarded our fearlessness by giving me golden skulls and naked women crawling out of the walls. I love acid
I rolled over and my thoughts became words and I said "oh fuck not you again" he didn't think that was too kind and asked me to leave
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
Can you come pick me up and take me to breakfast then the police station?
Where's your car?
The girl I brought home apparently stole it
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
Its honestly only a matter of time before I punch him in the face... I'll try to control myself until you guys break up
I don't know. I'm drunk and dressed as a pirate but ill do the math tomorrow morning.
So then we ended up at a bar full of navy SEALs and I got one of them to take his shirt off, then I felt him up
I feel like 31-year old me is 21-year old me's hero
Also, what day were you thinkin we should trip balls at the children's museum?
So you thought it was a good idea to make plans for the same time same place with the guy you were sort of dating AND his best friend you slept with?
I have a video on my phone of someone streaking in my house last night, do you have any idea who it is?
Oh man I missed being single! Two different guys just sent me dick pics during my kid’s little league game.
Randomize
