He came in like 30 seconds. That's how I know he hasn't been cheating on me while I've been gone
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
There's a really old guy here with a really young girl. I'm guessing he has to make choo choo train noises to get his dick in her mouth.
I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.
And the funny thing is when I went to the kitchen this morning, all 4 pizzas were still there in their boxes, untouched. My question to you is: what were we eating last night?
The woman in the hospital bed next to me just got diagnosed with flea bites on her vag.
Whaaaaaat? No way.
Now a discussion of pigs vs. dog as carrier.
that's just what you get for learning massage techniques from gay porn
My code for I need help will be if I'm holding a bud light lime..
Just realized my relationship wasn't even Facebook official and I'd already cheated on him. 'Shitty girlfriend' is an understatement.
He's probably the biggest I've seen outside of the porn I vehemently deny watching and he asks if I think he's too small
I ate pizza in bed, sans pants, and then carved a pumpkin. FUNCTIONING ADULT MOTHERFUCKERS!
he sneezed into my face mid-kiss
Bless his heart
I wish I could take a screenshot of how things literally look from my eyeballs right now
I wish I had a Tina from Bob's Burgers in real life. She would be the best wingman.
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
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