I'm so turned on right now it's fucking stupid. I hate burger king commercials
I wonder what it would be like to masturbate in space
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
Hah, I lost the lenses in my glasses, didn't event notice til this morning... How was the meeting?
Used my jumper cables as a bottle opener last night. Really pleased with my problem solving skills.
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
New brilliant plan: invite two random okcupid girls to the same bar at the same time, have them compete
There was another blizzard last night and at one point I was drinking 3 beers at once. Driving home didn't seem like a wise option
Found out I slept with someone who likes Pitbull. I really should get to know someone better before I sleep with them.
if i dont text back till morning its cause i turned my phone off and changed my password to something i wont remember to stop myself from drunk texting...RESPONSIBILITY
woke up in the back seat of my car with a naked chick and my brother tapping on the window. yup, what a night
If the ex isent in town and im crying under a table somewhere because of it can we go to a drag show or something
i want to platonically make out with them, platonically. in the back of this minivan
Bruise count after new years, 7. 2018 is looking up.
You asked me how red your eyes were... they were shut.
Randomize
