it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
my facebook friend requests are always from girls of boyfriends i have fucked, facebook is the worst reminder of shame
why do i have 22 missed calls from someone who is literally saved in my phone as bumrape star??
I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
I wish alcohol would automatically work as birth control if you have sex drunk.
for me the strap perfect is like a chastity belt
You put your shot glass in your waistband and then told me how convinent it was.
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
Man my junk looks like a mangled grapefruit right now, this shit sucks.
I need to stop getting drunk and telling people it isn't "about them."
i now know why i keep getting pictures of poop. apparently someone put my number in a girls bathroom saying i am a poop lover.
you text any of them back? this is probably the most women you'll ever have texting you in your life. don't squander a good thing
I AM GONNA CUM EVERYWHERE TONIGHT BRO.
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
Long story short I ended up getting choked out by a really hot guy in the girls bathroom at a bar last night
So were driving two hours to go to a club and Charles packed me a sippy cup full of tequila. He thinks of everything!
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