Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
Apparently as I was doing the walk of shame home my dad's date was on her way to hers. hoes come in all ages these days
You know when the three of us hug it out in the alcohol isle in walmart it's gonna be fun.
No im the worst roommate ever. Just dump a bucket of water on my head at 8am so i can suffer like i deserve to.
Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
wait no I wore my bra home that morning. I stole someone's bra last night?
doing squats while I brush my teeth.. gotta keep the booty in check
I would do everything over again, except the fireball.
Yeah so then I used the selfie stick his mom gave me to take nudes
Self reach around competition is what the Olympics has been missing all along. A true test of athleticism.
Lost my pants last night. Really need to stop taking shots of whiskey like I'm eating skittles.
I'm too drunk to remember your name. I'm too drunk to recall where i'm currently at. And i'm too drunk to give a shit.
Randomize
