Dude, no matter how drunk you are, it's not okay to hug every other guy at a strip club. Mainly because boners are far too common.
He was eating mac and cheese. Raw. Like as in he was eating the uncooked noodles then pouring the dry cheese in his mouth.
I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
2 out of 3 people here lost their shoes. America.
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
My nonexistent future grandchildren will one day ask me when I knew I'd lost control of my life. And now I know.
Last night I went to spank her while she was riding me and sack-tapped myself.
I was drunk while I accepted my job offer. Here's to growing up.
I have stickers all over my boobs and a lump the size of china on my forehead. today has not been good.
THE EAGLE HAS MY PANTIES. I REPEAT. THE FUCKING MASCOT HAS MY PANTIES.
HOLY SHIT. You're my hero.
Came home from this girls horse at 6am to find a guy lighting off roman candles in front of my door. Best walk of fame I've ever had.
I'm fucking sick of guys. I think I'm going to date myself. No drama. And I know I'll always put out.
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
Whats a little breast milk between friends?
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