I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
It was like a Michael Bay sized explosion located in my pussy.
I feel like this whole "telling that guy i have a kid to avoid him" thing is getting out of hand..
How so?
Probably at the point when i told him i was "Too drunk to drive" and "had to pick up my kid" all in a span of like 2 hours.
Best thing law school has taught me: how to use logic to turn a girls "no I will not have sex with you" into "well I might as well get laid"
i feel this will be the best possible way to start a friendship. By breaking into his house.
i havent blinked in 235 seconds. now 247. now 258. 263. 267. 271. i also have been gifted with theability to both type and count and not blink. 293 so magical
There's always one sober annoying person at a party. I hate responsible people. I just wanted to show everyone my nipples. There cute. She didn't have to stop me
is it cool if i crash at ur house this weekend again bro
yea dude but i wld bring a sleeping bag or something just in case. or u may just have to shack up with a woman or 2 cuz we hav 10 girls visiting/staying over at my house.
how did u manage to make sleeping with a bunch of girls sound like an inconvenience?
I wish you could see how much hot sauce and broken glass are in our apartment right now.
I am compiling a playlist that reminds me of all my best sexual encounters. It shall be called THE MUSIC OF MY VAGINA'S PEOPLE
If you do that, i will make all sorts of uncomfortable comments about my nipples being soft
Yah... You need to get here. Evan just peed off the karaoke stage.
I don't know if apple cider everclear was such a good idea
The Stanley Cup Final is killing me. I can't go to work drunk again.
He fucked the hangover right out of me. That good.
Randomize
