i'd like someone to explain to me why my clothes are all sticky. including my fanny pack. yes, this is a mass text.
I'm sending you this that that when you wake up and see the girl sleeping next to you, you know who to thank
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
Look, we all have our slutty phases. Mine is just forever.
its official: beach shits are the exact same as mountain shits
When I said 'i love my boyfriend' I didn't mean 'send me a picture of your penis'.
That awkward moment when the guy you hooked up on spring break invites you over for dinner to meet his parents and you say yes because the first rule of college is never turn down a free meal.
THE SHIT YOU GET YOURSELF INTO
Told some chick I'm a virgin, on my way to her house as I type this. Debating crying afterwards to fuck with her head.
The waitress asked if you wanted white or brown, and you said "Isn't it all the same color when it's toasted?". She stared at you for about 20 seconds before she decided that you weren't fucking with her.
I think the paper my teacher just handed back to me had one of his pubes on it, I'm way too hungover for this
This medicine is making me nuts. I just woke up and I thought I was in a glass case with Asians staring at me.
Me saying I wish i was a better person + me pretending I don't want to fuck on my period = me lying
Thought the acid was fake. Then my reflection didn't move when I did in the bathroom.
I'm gonna adopt her diet plan of secretly sleeping w a desperate ex... It combines excersise & loss of appetite due to guilt
Randomize
