Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
currently walking past a fire hyrdrant with a hose already attatched.. this could be dangerous..
But fine, we can play that game. You can come over and we can have totally platonic, long, boring discussions. Or we can fuck. Whatever.
Hey, I didn't ask that stripper to put her unds in my mouth, it was just covered by the plus package fee I ordered.
He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.
How did it go last night?
Woke up head half shaved and a burrito? So good and bad?
Ok, I have three hours. I'm trying to work out two blow jobs and a taco.
You may want to re-read your sent texts from last night. You were texting me about your "fire shits" spelled 6 different ways between 3 and 5:30 AM.
You could be a whistle.. And just ask bitches if they want to blow you all night
sex on acid sucks though, i want to connect with the universe not your dick.
Life update: This fucking MacBook repair guy called me over last night for a booty call and he didn’t have a condom OR a bed
We broke into a construction site had sex on a scissor lift and realized it was a church...tomorrow again??
Sexual Dilemma - Covid Edition: Flirting with a cute frat boy. The Cougar in me wants to go back to his frat house and fuck his cocky brains out. The adult in me doesn’t want to get Covid and have to quarantine in a frat house for 2 weeks\n
Randomize