I wannas sexs uuuuu
U know its gonna be a great day when the guy at the liquor store waves at u cause u walked by
And then you told your sister how horrible of a friend I was because I couldn't get you cheese fries...
I just had sex with a black guy. He told me I had a big dick. I think that's God's way of saying it's okay to be gay.
ii just google-imaged 'sad turtle' and maggie gyllenhaal only came up once. what is the world coming to?
yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
At home depot. Final room inspection is tmrow, gotta paint over the puke stains
This whole bra on the outside of my shirt thing is so convenient. It turns my shirt into a pocket to eat Fritos out of. Mmm boobies
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
i think god would be more upset with me for turning down such a beautifully crafted cock than he would for me liking girls
Apparently I give handjobs in my sleep. So that's interesting.
Watching the series finale of Friends and crying in my Thai food. I don't like hangover Jared.
If he gets me coffee, cold or no I'll make him see Jesus with my mouth.
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
"They let me see the x-ray. My nose is broken. I saw it. It was cool. Well, I guess it would be cooler if it wasn't my nose."
Randomize
