Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
I don't know what's more pathetic, the fact that you dated him or the fact that it took a Taylor Swift song for you to break up with him.
I woke up wearing a cow costume. I'm not even gonna try to recall what happened last night.
Rubbed one out while on hold to buy tickets to Disneyland. Feel simultaneously like a freak and strangely productive.
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
We're trying to decide between cracker barrel an the ER
Or maybe my penis is just the key to their locked boxes of crazy, and I unleash their wrath upon all of mankind just so I can get my nut off
Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
Charles Manson is Getting Married and I stare down at my tits and wonder how I am possibly single.
Maybe it’s too soon to casually tell the boss that I went to Tulsa for some dick last night
Do you ever go take a shit and end up sitting on the toilet for like 45 minutes wondering what the fuck you're doing with your life?
Everyday my friend, everyday.
Well, why would you bring gelado into a strip club?
How far are you from my house? Do I have time to masturbate before you get here?
Randomize
