you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
I have a ginormous moral hangover. Strip club blues.
my vagina has been out of service for wayy too long... this semester needs to start like right now
I guess since this is supposed to be my year of the lesbian it's okay
we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.
Nothing like running into your favorite bartender in the middle of the afternoon while stone cold sober and being told your grabbed his penis the last time you were at his bar. My bad.
I now own a bag of cigarettes and have no purse, awesome
I CAN CONTROL MY GERBIL WITH MY BREATH. HE FOLLOWS THE SMELL. PROBABLY WOULDNT BE AS EXCITING IF I WASNT HIGH OFF MY ASS, BUT STILL
My liver and my bank account can't afford another all nighter. Help.
We just won 1800 at the casino and are going to the strip club. Who gives a fuck if it's 5pm
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service
somehow a ride to walgreens turned into a threesome.
I decided we werent gonna go for round 5 when he started trying to have a serious conversation about how blessed he is to have such a nice penis
He has a point, the man's penis is a legend.
Turns out, the guy I'm casually fucking has a girlfriend who's cheating on him with my sister's boyfriends brother who I fucked last year. And my sex life has now come full circle.
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
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