i hope my daughter doesn't end up with cankles. no guy likes cankles.
so that wasnt chicken after all
I just got really nervous and swallowed all of my birth control
Just tipped at a bar in cheerios. Suck it.
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
I smell like icyhot and vodka... Heres to my pulled tendon.
I can't feel my tongue. And that means go. Green means go. And you know what Barney says. Green means go and woah means no. DRIIIIINKK
Just burnt my nuts with a cigarette. Don't ask. I hate life.
Guess who just sucked off 1/5 of one direction?
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
Plus idk what to say. Like hello dapper gentleman will you pursue me in a midnight hangout where I can be choked
he won't tell me his last name, but I know his garage key code
you said it was a life or death situation, being your partner for beer pong doesn't count
I didn't really break out of the friend zone, as much as I blasted the doors off with high explosives and rode through on a grizzly bear...
Randomize
