I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
So apparently when I roll on X I find 'dick ina box' not only hilarious but also sexually arousing.
So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
My new sobriety test is "how many times do I have to attempt to put toothpaste on my brush"... It takes a while.
my dad just referred to me and my boobs as 'the three of you'
Tell her you can forgive her unacceptable behavior because her dad and his dog weren't married when they conceived her.
someone left their shoes, a resume, and a pizza in the shower... i am actually speechless
update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.
You wrote me a letter and I cannot make out anything you wrote except the last sentence which says "tell the wolf ill meet him at sunset and that I'm sorrry"
The doctor said 'youre the 2nd youngest person that ive seen with this condition. Thats probably not the silver medal you were looking for today.'
I woke up with a black eye, bruised knuckles, wearing women's clothing, in a house I did not recognize, next to a solid 9. Thank you for making 21 special.
Is it bad that I'm tracking my period with Instagram pictures?
They started shooting fireworks out of a dryer. It was my cue to leave.
His mom came while we were asleep naked and started asking me about my plans after high school... Is that even a thing.
Greetings from Florida; the armpit of the US, where my 240something lb brother nearly got carried away by some aggressive woodland mosquitoes. I was only spared because they could probably sense I was currently semi-disassociating and would not feel the suffering their presence wrought.
Anyway, how was your day?
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