Umm I'm too high to move.
Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
you left a giant bottle of vodka in my room from last night. does this serve as a parting gift or hush money?
It's official. I'm a squirter. Wasn't a one time thing.
officially spring now- first drug bust of the season across the street.
I may or may not juuuust be reaching the point where I find some humor from waking up in the parking lot at the standard.
First day of class and I'm in a bar drinking pitcher #3. Foreshadowing?
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
I can't talk to her. I know entirely too much about her genitals to hold a conversation without mentioning them.
Look man, sometimes you just gotta say "Sure! Why not? I can always take a shower afterwards"
I convinced a girl making out is a secret handshake
I told him I'd ride his broomstick if he let me call him Harry Potter and drew a lightning bolt on his forehead.
I will find, mount, and marry that person.
I just realized, you're dating a guy named Jameson. That is another level of whiskey dick.
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
Randomize
