it was all good till he told me to dance slow and quiet
he was CRYING into my vagina
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
you grabbed the waitors dick and yelled '2nd base' and then he gave you his number. I hate your life.
the girl in my class has a rolling backpack and just told it to stay. im too hungover for this.
I never thought I would have to get vodka suctioned out of my ear
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
My only positive piece of news is that my roommate is moving home for the summer, so our stress-relief sex will be much easier to get away with.
BTW he text me to text him later after the concert to hang out. Im prepping my bed but I should know I shouldn't count my dicks before they hatch
Just for the record, you referenced Harry Potter while complaining about being torn between the Slytherin (lesbians) and Gryffindor (your mostly straight friends) houses (tables)
I just want to slap everyone in the face that's happy being sober. Loser.
You said "I'm not gonna waste my last condom on you" last night.
My loniness meter has reached its peak. I just played shadow puppets using my Big Mac on the wall with my cats
All I'm wearing right now is a condom and a sock.
Just one?
Yup. One sock.
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