can you wear a superman outfit if we ever have sex?
O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
You're just telling me nice things because you came in my eye.
I'm taking her home. She just told a 90 yo woman in a packers hat to "suck her cock".
He graduated with honors. I've seen him kneeboard on dry ground and run a razor scooter into a wall...anyone can graduate with honors
Just paid a $5 cover at a bar I stumbled by so I could puke in a toilet and not in public.
he was banged his ex for coke the whole time and is still the best guy so far this year. standards need to be raised.
There were penises being pulled out everywhere.
Um. That's my cat Laura. You put my cat in your mouth, and then you put my cat in your purse.
I guess I was trying to make a cheese sandwich, I had to change my sheets cuz I slept on it and the cheese melted all over me, Dave, and my bed
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
I am not being the messenger for your booty call.
I spoon fed you cheerios when you were black out drunk. You owe me one.
I need to stop agreeing to hang out with people when I'm drunk.
No way in hell. Unless I was drunk Tindering again....my swiping finger gets drunk too I guess
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
Randomize
