We found him pissing on the sidewalk in his socks signing the national anthem. I love you summer.
The cop refused to sing with us, even though he was as happy as we were that the tow truck finally showed up.
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
I never thought that taking apart multiple age 5 and under puzzles would be part of my house party clean up process.
Yeah, sorry about that. I just couldn't stop.
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
Fair warning: We've transformed the living room into a giant tent.
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
He was so good, that I'm pretty sure he fucked his religion into me. P.S. I'm Jewish now.
Was my shirt on fire at any point last night? Because I'm fairly sure my shirt was on fire.
Well, that now makes it the 4th girlfriend in a row to cheat on me. I don't even care anymore...I'll date a prostitute and not even worry.
I mean, unless you wanna just let me lie there while you fuck me and pour water into my mouth
I just hope I don't wheeze during sex
I never saw such an emotional argument over yellow vs. spicy mustard.
i swear to god it was like we were fucking in 9 dimensions
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
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