I have a new suitor he got my # last nite... I was to tipsy to function! What was I thinking!! It's like u when u first met me
My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
Puked in a cab. Passed out on my floor an my mom put a blanket over me. Home by 1045. I won shitshow trophy last night.
His facebook interests include 'unstrapping velcro'.
only 75% of american men are circumcised...i guess this was bound to happen to me someday.
just took my temp. 103. i wonder how tylenol and jager bombs are gonna mix
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
He stripped down to boxers and then started flinging jello shots with a spoon into people's mouths like a catapult.
somehow, even strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA can't understand why he'd choose her over me
maybe it's because you talk to strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
It's nights like those I refer to my life motto: You can't be just friends with someone after you've seen their genitals.
Just for future reference, me asking if you're free, followed by a winking face is not my way of suggesting a tandem bike ride.
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
What I thought was my travel sanitizer was actually my travel lube. Most awkward transit ride of all time!
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
Randomize
