It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
It was the first time I had seen his penis when it wasnt hard. It just looked so vulnerable and a little bit depressed.
I need to get my pants from under your porch. People are asking questions.
Just saw a homeless man taking a shower in someone's sprinkler system....
I vaguely remember you trying to make me a casserole with marshmallows and a can of beer.
take 2 Ambien then drink a Red Bull and watch Alice in Wonderland. Trust me.
You need to get over here. I think the drunks are about to sacrifice a chicken to the beer gods. Or a freshman. Stay tuned.
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
That would warm my breasts.
In this context breast is a metaphor for soul.
if creating a fake 8 year old brother, who lives with me and has had mono for the past month, to explain why I have ignored my group project members is wrong, then I... well then I'm probably going to hell
Seriously, don't even. "Hi, have I seen you half naked covered in bright red body paint on the internet?" is NOT acceptable water-cooler chit-chat.
Aw.
Can we talk about the fact that a stranger is doing a line of coke off our living room table right now?
I got eaten out in the igloo at snow-kings castle last night.My thighs were literally melting ruts in the ice bench.Definitely colder than the minus 40 blowjob at Desiree's wedding
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