did I really admit that id have sex with that cougar had I been more drunk?...ugh...i need to masterbate more
i walked into his room and he was eskimo kissing his weed..
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.
True life. I have to get a nose job due to a deviated septum from blowing coke. Thank you college.
He taught me where the gears in a five speed are with his penis.
You can't call dibs on the bed... every time you party you KO in the bathtub
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
Steve, that episode of cops where your dealer rear-ended that family is on again.
and then I drunkenly screamed, "you can ride that Uber all the way to revenge city!"
which was funny until I realized I paid for my enemy's cab to go fuck my ex
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
WHEN YOU HAVE SEX WITH A GUY FROM A DIFFERENT COUNTRY YOURE SUPPOSED TO NEVER SEE THEM AGAIN
How are you supposed to wish the guy you send nudes to good luck for the first day of his new job??
It’s like I’m living in some alternate wet dream universe right now
I am going as Rudolph for the Christmas Eve furry orgie.
Is Santa taking the sleigh of slutty reindeer around the neighborhood again this year.
Yes. Several neighbors have requested it.
Randomize
