sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
I wish I could sell my textbooks directly to my drug dealer and cut out the middle man
He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...
VODKAVODKAVODKAYESSSS
Just came out of my room at 8 AM to find 2 pounds of raw hamburger and a half eaten cake strewn across the hallway. And I'm not surprised at all.
I remember desperately screaming that I love my life and running in zig zags all the way home
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
Whatever she smells like compost and feathers.
I believe they call that patchouli.
The plane down was full of newly weds and I counted 5 pairs of mile high club members. Actually, one might have been a group membership discount.
I stirred my drink with a butcher knife. His roomate keeps giving me dirty looks
Like what do you want from me
I'm trying to puke quietly so i don't ruin my grandma's birthday/my graduation brunch. And you say i need to grow up.
Should I tell him how he got the bruise on his ass or just enjoy his theories?
Apparently I was directing traffic outside of Keeneland. Apparently I'm not a police officer. Who knew....
Randomize
