every time i drive by the road she lives on, i scream in the car "i'm sorry i'm sleeping with your boyfriend!" makes me feel less whore-y.
So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
I'm like a new puppy, everybody wants to touch me
im in his phone as 'great ass to tap'
this weekend will be like the season finale to my life
I wish you had a penis so you could experience peeing out the window in front of a crowd of people leaving parties.
the best thing about long term relationship is that the fact that i bothered to shave my legs today counts as a valentines gift
Are you sighing at your phone and judging me right now?
So I paid for the taxi using pennies and hair clips, no need to thank me.
Calling a preemptive no homo on tonight's activities
I would do everything over again, except the fireball.
I didn't know White Castle was open when your sober.
For the first time in my life, I still have money by the next payday. Who is this responsible person and what have they done with the real me?
If I get really high and watch Beauty and The Beast on our Netflx account, will you judge me?
Only if you start before I get home!
My drug dealer just told me goodnight...I still don't know his name. But I guess you can say we've moved to the next step.
Randomize
