Going back to college after four years is reminding me why i love cheating... they dont let me cheat on tests but they sure try hard to make me cheat on my girl
I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina.
Pillow talk just revealed that he originally thought I was 16.
hey did i steal that bike before or after the ball dropped, casue i might have broken my resolution already
Just wanna let u know that we are almost on the pity blow job level of our friendship.
I didn't just randomly come up with it. But if you want to give me extra credit for creativity I have a bare chest and chocolate sauce left
He walked in at 7am saying that the police had his shoes and phone because he's being investigated for attempted auto theft.
I'm just trying my hardest not to get addicted to drugs or pregnant and all your other friends are out there getting married
Also the girl beside me smells like she's been in a deep fryer.
I just spent the last three days trying to hook up with a dude for his pool privileges
Honestly at least you're not debating on whether or not you need to take plan b. But I can't because I spent all my money on pizza.
We shall need something stronger. Anal lube, the blood of a giraffe, and a bay leaf should do the trick. Make the paste and cover your left knee and anus in it.
I got in an argument over whether or not I'm a slut. I argued yes.
can you tell me why i woke up in a diaper and combat boots?
I just broke into my house with a butter knife. It kinda scares me just how easy that was.
Randomize
