Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
why cant girls ever use the fly? why do they always have to awkwardly try to pull it over your belt?
You love popeyes more than me
does delicious chicken come out of your vagina?
Lady GaGa only went backwards in convincing me she's not a man at the VMAs.
In an effort to go green, I just used rainwater to fill my bong.
Is it appropriate to get drunk, stand up at the wedding and make a toast to "the time the lovely bride asked me to come on her chest"?
our generation is not ready to get married
Did Kevin really put his bar tab under the name Hercules last night?
There r osticjed everywhere
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
When you're done railing that chick, there is still half a pizza and some ninja turtle mac and cheese down here if you want
He turned on read receipts specifically so i'd know he was ignoring me.
so apparantly i made out with 24 santas last night...and an elf...and a stoner
I'm disappointed in the internet. It's two days and there's still no fanfiction based off that Manning/Beckham commercial.
You don't even like football
Do you realize we were driving someone else’s car and I was holding the wheel while you were driving and sucking my dick. That’s NOT normal
The party pretty much ended once she shit on the couch
Randomize
