I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
I want to take you away to a place of dolphin rides and hot stone massages.
just found a sign outside my brothers door "not going to church, don't even try" and he is covered is vomit in his bed.
he's been in the country 4 hours and we just did it in the closet. he called me "miss flirtatious in the cupboard." i'm in love.
I really shouldn't have to apologize. It was your own damn fault for opening a tab at the bar and telling me about it.
Seriously. There are at least 10 other people drinking at the bar with me at 10:40. Im justifying it with the fact that I've been up since 5am.
Woaahhhh there! We are JUST drunk fucking. Don't call me "baby".
Ima go for a jog. and I'm going to jog until I throw up a lung. then I'll crawl home.
Maybe it was silver. I don't know. I was drunk sifting through my dogs vomit.
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
Today is a shit your pants at work kinda day
And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them
I WOULD NEVER MIX DICK AND MCDONALDS
At one point my little brother was Rocky Balboa'd by a stripper's tit
What's a nice way of saying 'I wish I hadn't fucked you.'
Randomize
