Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
Fist pumping is hard when country music is playing FYI but I am committed
At least my shower head will respect me in the morning.
She begged me for sex again. I felt like I was telling a homeless person I didn't have any change.
Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
I'm pretty sure this all started when I found a vibrator in my mom's sock drawer and had my first orgasm when I was ten...
Nothing kills the mood when I am hooking up on the dance floor like the DJ saying Happy Valentines.
Not exactly sure why you felt the need to get the halloween decorations out. But waking up to 7 carved pumpkins really scares the shit out of you.
he told me my vagina was like a beautiful piece of salami
I only get commercials for vodka and Rogaine now. You're exactly right, Hulu. That's exactly right.
There's always one sober annoying person at a party. I hate responsible people. I just wanted to show everyone my nipples. There cute. She didn't have to stop me
So the bartender from Applebees totally looks like he would take his clothes off for $40
I like how you possess the gift that turns normal guys into strippers
Your roommate from freshman year just had a baby. I think you're winning. Hooray for fifth year seniors!
We were wearing togas. So having sex was really easy to do without taking any clothes off.
I have all the porn. Be there soon
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