Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
I think condoms have that nasty latex smell to remind you in the morning of how gross you are.
Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
One of my bosses just told me she's having communication problems because mercury is in retrograde this month. I think she's serious.
Outta milk. Using rum instead for pancake mix. Drunk Thursday is a gooo
JUST SAW MY DRUG DEALER SOBER AND GOING TO CLASS. This is weird, its almost like he's an actual student whio leaves his room...
There is a 15" subwoofer mounted inside our fridge. I've never been more proud of myself.
One fish gets drugged and suddenly I'm labeled a bad pet owner. This is so unfair.
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
Only he would come to a strip club and talk about an internship with Walt Disney during a lap dance.
It was super embarrassing when I had to tell my brother, in front of my mother, that my wifi password was Drinkupbitches. Thanks for providing that lovely family moment.
Roommate is hosting a 'sorority retreat' at our house. If you need to get laid, stumble on over.
You called me last night and said you had a vision that a cat made you a sandwich. You were tripping way too hard
I'm to the point of desperation where I stare at customers penis imprints through their pants all day
I had perfectly good intentions but my penis had other ideas and now I need a place to crash what do you say
Randomize
