i'm pretty sure the devil's penis is california-shaped
I'm sorry..where i come from learning how to exploit a wealthy middle aged man is a right of passage
he was so excited that he found the elusive clitoris. i was like look christopher colombus, just because you found it doesnt mean you knew what to do with it
Sacagawea was the original milf.
I'm giving up shame for lent. Here come the best 40 days and nights of my life.
I come up with the best drinking games while babysitting
He just went up to bed, still drunk from last night, carrying a pear, a pipe, and an unopened bottle of wine. I think he'll be fine.
thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers
its only a rough draft.
What can I say, he stumbled upon the key to my heart: orgasms and mac 'n cheese.
My lips are sealed. Both pairs.
She just came to my house, with puke in her hair, to wake up my dad and scream "happy fathers day you DILF!" at the top of her lungs
You insisted on going outside so you could "breathe real air".
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
Got myself invited to boss's family dinner party, drank too much, and fucked boss's brother in his parent's house. Just another Wednesday.
lets face it, we have a liquor cabinet with a designated chocolate shelf
Randomize
