Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
if there werent so many compromising pictures of me in the hands of so many liberal friends, id consider going into politics
I was too high to figure out which of the three doors would lead me to my classroom, so i sat down in the middle of the hallway and ate a twinkie.
I just saw a girl walking up the hill with a little red wagon full of booze... I want to be in her study group.
Okay well someone asked "IS HE HOMELESS?" about me so I need to try and find somebody.
What are the signs of a concussion? Please don't freak out.
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
i've eaten like 19 popsicles... what the fuck have you done today?
Did you fuck him in my garden last night?
That WOULD explain the dirt in my vagina
My black heart of coal cannot compete with your boiling crock pot of teddy bears, rainbows, 90s music, and the good candy you get from rich people on Halloween.
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
Sex with him is like pizza, it can be shitty but its stillll pizza.....
Just fell off my bed trying to pose and take a nude for you. Probably broke my wrist
I blew past the Governor's motorcade going twice the speed limit and DIDN'T get a ticket. God wants me to get laid.
I love when my neighbors have passionate, loud sex to remind me that I'm not getting laid
Randomize
