It's fine actually... I'm pretty sure he had the crookedest weiner in the world anyway.
Like he had it hanging in the wind and you just decided, "nope, I don't think that one's for me." ????
God no! I could just feel it. His clock said it was 8:00 when, clearly, it should have been midnight.
I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
We spent three hours cleaning our room this morning. It was spotless and smelling good. I come home from work tonight and she has already smoked weed in it and "accidently" spilled vodka on the floor.
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
I just recognized Courtney in a crowded Trader Joe's solely by seeing her ass. In other news, I survived the first round of layoffs today.
I'm not sure which feat is more impressive...
Marking my student's "don't do drugs" posters while simultaneously texting my dealer, is this what being a grown up is like?
Sweet. Warning: i have been drinking at work since 4. Plan accordingly.
I just did something so unspeakable in the panera bathroom that their health score dropped 10 points.
My vagina is screaming your name . Wtf did you do to it
I bought us both waterproof cases so we can sext through FaceTime in the shower.
Next. Level. Shit.
there's cocaine on the ipad again........... was your sister here last night?
I accidentally sent a snap of my puss with the Republican filter... Totally killed his boner
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
I don't want to go to sleep. I like partying with myself.
Randomize
