your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
He just said "fuck you" to the bowl he's eating things out of
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
Im going to make a sandwich and see if my books came from amazon. I cant believe two years ago i was dating eight guys and teaching russian exchange students how to do shots.
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
I got my little bro high for the first time... Turns out the two of us stoned together is a mess. We spent 10 minutes trying to communicate with each other using just our eyebrows.
WHEN THE FUCK DID MCDONALD'S DECIDE TO QUIT SERVING BURGERS AT 1:00AM?
I would peed on everything
He'd rather cuddle with his shitty little miniature dog than the half naked girl in his bed. I've lost all hope for him and my vagina
Well its all fun and games until you get naked with your ex in the shower. that's NOT flirting
My life has evolved from screwing randos, ok?
I see you listening to my get shitfaced playlist on spotify. glad we're on the same page tonight there's a drink waiting for you downstairs.
So I was walking to the bathroom and some random dude threw up while walking towards me. He kept eye contact the entire time and didn't stop moving.
Um I got a ride home from the bar with two random boys and one tried to bang me on my parents riding mower
Randomize
