It's fine actually... I'm pretty sure he had the crookedest weiner in the world anyway.
Like he had it hanging in the wind and you just decided, "nope, I don't think that one's for me." ????
God no! I could just feel it. His clock said it was 8:00 when, clearly, it should have been midnight.
State Street has never looked so beautiful than during my walk of shame.
Had to use Google translator to be able to tell the cleaning lady not to throw away the condoms we have strategically placed throughout the house.
he even offered to make my bed in the morning.
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
Ripped as fuck driving to get a portrait of my cat tattooed on my arm
And apparently i asked another younger guy at the bar if he wanted his bud light pumped straight into his vag. As i put back an irish car bomb...
Wors thing about having a cop dad: random drug testing
Last night I went to spank her while she was riding me and sack-tapped myself.
P.S. If you wake up before noon it still counts as morning sex
Holy fuck where did this cat tattoo on my ass come from
I had to say goodbye to one of my fuck buddies last night. He's voting for Trump, we shouldn't be doing it anyways.
I need to start dating older women. We tried sexting and she used more emojis than actual words. It was so bad that I did the math...her messages were 54% emoji. No one should make me feel this old when I'm only 28.
Legit hope my Trump humping Brother dies of this shit so I can stop pretending to still love him.
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
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