mrs. f**** your sons in jail, if you can help with bail please respond, if not please dont tell him i told you.
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
We can talk tomorrow when we're both alert. My mind is somewhere else right now.
Where's it at?
In your pants.
He was supposed to take me to a nice dinner, but istead all he did was get drunk and throw lit fireworks at me.
I saw him on the jumbotron, its like god doesnt want me to forget his tiny penis
pretty sure the dicks i sucked were punishment enough
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
Did you seduce any young men into coming home to your love nest of poutine and jäger bombs?
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
I just dumped the bloody coke bill into the tip jar while getting my hangover coffee. I'm literally going to hell.
I have in my possession one ukulele shaped package.
You were filing your nipples with a nail file to "make them sharper"
HILY FUCK HES HERE I HAVE MONISTAT IN ME HE SUPRISED ME
Heard about your divorce. Let me know if I can do anything for you or your penis ;-)
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