if you dont talk to me in person you cant text me
so i woke up to her 8 year old asking for a bowl of cereal...
It feels like he gave my taint an indian burn.
chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
I guess I should mention that I have already fucked the Fed Ex guy.
That changes everything.
His idea of a compliment is: 'you're cuter than your friend. If you both wanted a 3way I'd do it,but I'd pay more attention to you.'
please promise me that no matter what happens you will keep me away from the children
Like lay upon bear skin rugs, drink brandy and reminisce of the yesteryear's before a majestic fire place? Because those are my plans.
That's the international "my vagina is unoccupied, come talk to us" chant. You have your mission. Go.
He walked into the pizza shop... Pulled the fire alarm.. And proceeded to dance to it...
Tinder recommend to a friend: making threesomes easier since 2016
just realized we fucked to the ultimate disney playlist last night. hakuna matata.
also, i'm not sure if i'm proud to say this but our regional manager's hot fiance was grinding on me at the reception while he stood and watched.
i suppose that explains why he told me he plans on promoting you this Friday.
we should paint friendship bongs
I’m a little confused...we were told by Cheeto Jesus and his minions multiple times that we would stop hearing about coronavirus the day after the election and, yet, I am still hearing about coronavirus. Is it possible they lied to us again?!?
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