Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
Oh, I'm sorry. I'd rather be "doable" than "the fat chick"
My warmest regards to the fish in that koi pond I puked in.
WHY ARE YOU POKING HOLES IN MY 3AM LOGIC?!
I didn't hate myself when I woke up today, that's improvement right?
I either just got free sex or a nice jail sentence. Text me in 10 to verify.
High enough to ask the woman at best buy if she ever feels like she's swimming. and telling the man outside that he smells like happy juice.
I just got a huge discount at GameStop for having tits. I win.
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
My sweat smells like Wild Turkey. I'm really feeling the holiday spirit.
I am at a point in my life where I don't want to brush my teeth for my tinder date because toothpaste and martinis don't mix.
I just turned down an invite to sit on a face. IDK who I am.
What? Are you sick?
My ovaries melted while we were talking. I almost told him I would suck his soul out through his dick
That would be a memorable parent teacher conference for sure
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