He fucking owes me dinner after I gave him head under the deck behind the bar.
So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
Hate sex is AWESOME! I faked it, and when she fell asleep i came in her purse.
This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
I was fucking the girl and her best friend walked in on us. She said we looked thirsty, got us a glass of water, and poured it down both of our throats. It was like... sex bottle service
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
we're going to the olympic park to run the 100m yeaaaahhh
it's 3am. Nothing could possibly go wrong here.
Well, I guess that's how life goes for my dad. One minute you're walking with your cooler on the afterglow of a Lynyrd Skynyrd concert, the next you find your grown son choking out a drunk redneck against your pickup truck.
I am just saying if Clark Kent walks into your life, you fuck him
Thursday is not a good day to become a felon... It's bingo night
hotelroom bed is big enough to masturbate in, but small enough to not want to sleep in it after you've masturbated in it
And ANOTHER guy that I once got naked is doing gay porn now. Wtf? Am I the audition?!
Hammered...8am...why is there chickens in the living room?
You’ll (maybe) appreciate that I picked at my ingrown hair again. Quarantine updates are getting BLEAK.
I don’t care how cute or big a guy is I’m done with drunken hand jobs. It was like I was pulling a nine inch bungee cord for 25 minutes. Now My arm and shoulder is dead
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