oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
My Vagina smells like Nemo again.
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
THEY HAVE A VOMIT TROUGH.
What?
A TROUGH FOR VOMIT.
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
he belly flopped onto the beer pong table, and almost boke his face, so at that point we decided swimming would be safer for him.
Put you drinking hat aside for Tuesday. My buddy is bartending!
I just puked in my drinking hat.
Apparently being drunk on a southwest flight and yelling "TURNUP" during take off is looked down upon in this state.
We're so stoned that were both cuddling on the couch and crying over Forest Gump while eating popcorn. She asked me if I'd fuck away the sadness. I think she's serious.
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
For once I am not in the mood. My vagina is good with life at the moment.
The apocalypse has arrived.
You yelled This cop is arresting me for possession! Possession of MARIJUANA!!", everyone cheered, and you let him handcuff you and take you away.
This is a question I thought I'd never have to ask. How many hits of acid did you give your dad tonight?
Puked in the trash can. Took a bite of someone's breadstick and kept dancing and drinking
He has fairy lights round his bed.. And played Jamie cullum when we had sex... Hes batting for the other team right?
Randomize
