I think my fart just growled at me.
quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
do you know what's more awkward than a positive pregnancy in a public bathroom?
not a thing
walking in on a stranger's positive pregnancy test in a public bathroom
Dude. He drives a mini. Therefore he's a virgin
We waited til after. Not even drunk sex felt right during a Disney movie.
but you don't have to sleep on top of four different cum stains because you'd rather buy a case of Franzia than spend $3.50 in the student laundry room
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
You missed lesbians having sex in the bathroom and the whole bar clapping for them. I had to do recon. It was amazing
fat people need to stop using the handicapped bathroom stall so I can have sex in it. it's common logic
If the Cards come back I will fly to St Louis and shit in a very public place.
Next Halloween, remind me to find a different wingman. Walking out in your pirate costume talking like Captain Ahab while i was banging her and telling me I had to harpoon the white whale really pissed her off.
His exact words were "Can I meet your vagina?" I kept wondering if he was going to try to shake hands with it...
Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, Kendra's boobs?
My boss want to throw me an everclear birthday.
It's only just- an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, a nude for a nude
Randomize
