if there werent so many compromising pictures of me in the hands of so many liberal friends, id consider going into politics
I should just throw a hundred dollar bill into the wind and walk away... save myself the hangover.
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
Pretty sure that drunken football on the back porch with 6 guys with a champagne bottle was a bad idea....
Her gay brother kept hitting on me and cockblocking me. Don't even begin to tell me how bad your night was.
You stole a frozen pizza from the freezer, stuffed it in the back of your shirt then proceeded to leave the party.
There's a 35% chance I'm still residually drunk from last night.
And you say you're not good with numbers...
I know it basically makes me the worst feminist ever, but I don't want to kill my own spiders. And I will pay my personal spider hit man with sammiches and unlimited , uninhibited access to my vagina.
Cause a man that looks THAT good must have an ass that tastes like lucky charms
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
last thing I remember was someone walking in on me sitting in the bathtub listening and singing along to Britney spears "Till the world ends" on repeat.
I woke up naked in this guys bed and the first thing I start saying is it's super bowl Sunday like I was yelling
It's gotten to the point where waking up in my own apartment is a surprise
His parents came home, and now I'm hiding in a closet; awaiting death at dawn.
You are always hiding in a closet though??
I'm really excited to meet your new dude! But we really need to find out if he's your cousin first.
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