I'm doing a half mile walk of shame carrying a trash bag and still very drunk. Save me. I feel like a refugee.
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
I negotiated the purchase of an entire tray of like 50 jello shots for $8.
he put a lighter in my cleavage and said "you're like another pocket!"
there was a trail of blood coming out of one of the bathroom stalls. thought of you
Can't a girl send out a 4 pm booty call anymore
The last thing I remembered was laying in the bathtub fully clothed with the shower running while he was picking grilled cheese out of my hair. I couldn't figure out if i was more upset about being soaking wet or the fact that my grilled cheese was in my hair instead of my mouth.
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
I deleted his number so I had to go into my old voicemails which are saved through my gmail and search his name... Never underestimate the resourcefulness of a drunk girl on a mission for dick
I wasn't trying to be rude when I hurriedly walked past you, but I can not put in to words exactly how bad I had to shit.
Fuck you, if it wasn't for us going to the city, she would be using me as a human sex toy all day.
showering high made me realize that i should seriously reconsider my career path... id be a damn good hair shampooer & head massager
Pandora was on point with the sex music tonight
Dude I love you. So much. Thank u. I'm safea. In allysi lns car. Mine towed. If u loved me ud leand me 500 in the morning. Sleep on it nd let me know.
she prefaced telling me she was pregnant with "houston, we have a problem"
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