By the way the fattest man alive got married yesterday and I don't even have a boyfriend.
I'll tell you what, we couldn't have asked for better binge-drinking weather.
We're too lazy to do dishes, so we're making sangria in a flower vase.
You were chewing up hot dogs and spitting them out
IF SOMEONE ASKS YOU IF YOU WANT THE GOOD DRUGS YOU SAY YES.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
I've made friends with the guy dressed as a gorilla that was chasing the guy dressed as a banana around with a super soaker full of vodka. I feel this will be a good relationship for me.
I generally just try to vote by which candidate I think has the bigger dick. Sorry Romney.
I distinctly remember holding up a piece of ham pizza and screaming: "WHO THE FUCK EATS HAM PIZZA" in the face of a bunch of scared 13 year old girls faces, while my own sister laughed in mine.
My boss just high fived me after finding out i made it through lunch rush rolling on molly. To think this guy used to terify me.
At one point 12 people dressed in care bear onesies were up on stage grinding super nasty, and two of the girl Care Bears were making out.
If this wasn't a hallucination, we need to go to this magical kingdom every night of the week.
I spilt beer on the table, and she quickly got a straw and yelled party foul and made me drink it.
Maybe it's because I walked straight up to that shelf of vodka with a look of determination that said "I mean business".
I usually have to have a cart! If that doesn't say "I mean business" then I don't know what does
I found her outside drinking steak sauce out of the bottle.
are you fucking roseanne barr in there?
Randomize
