i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
Since when do you wear a bracelet?
Not a bracelet. Half a pair of handcuffs
I woke up to 30 angry texts and her Chihuahua in my room. Can you drop him off for me?
I crashed her parents' car cause she was giving me road head. Its probably best to just let them think I'm a bad driver.
I've come to realize time passes slowest when I'm sitting in class, waiting for microwavable foods, working out, & giving head.
I have come to the conclusion that if you don't fulfill your life ambitions you should go into porn
It's 4th of July all over again, we were chasing with the pool water.
I'm riding shot gun after Shawn took a dump in a happy meal box because we were making record time.
Always wear a seatbelt when giving road head. I think I'm just going to tell people I don't remember how I got the fat lip.
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
I miss you too. And it was nice meeting your brother while I was mounting you
But that background check said 51...Omg. If I hooked up with someone that's my dads age.....
I have six new people in my phone that I don't remember adding. One of them is "Bourbon Yeah." Successful evening?
She squirted. We were both surprised. I'm that good.
Mike's letting gay guys do body shots off him again.
My boyfriend, ladies and gentlemen.
Randomize
