her vagina looked like a handful of raisins.
I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
i can't wait to kiss dudes with my vampire teeth in.
Stripper told me "sorry i'm not squezing my tits in your face much, I just had a kid and don't want to squirt you in the eye with milk. " in the middle of my lap dance
i'm pretty sure i'm on the same train we took last friday..
what?how do you know?
it appears they have not cleaned up your vomit yet.
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
His penis is literally smaller than my cell phone. I can't go out like that.
He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
Would it be out of line to take a picture of all the earrings, rings, hairclips, and other miscellaneous girl items that I found under my bed and post it on facebook and tag all the girls that I slept with this year so they can claim their shit and get it out of my house?
I met a pornstar at his bachelor party and signed his shirt giving him wedding advice
my last search of the night was "the physics of green eggs and ham" what the fuck
I don't know, but I assume drunk me had her reasons. I trust her judgement.
Come on kid, foreplay is elementary stuff. It's a vagina, not a sphinx.
He a gives rim jobs, because, of course a guy who opens doors and makes reservations would lick your anus..like a gentleman.
Randomize
