Teenaged girls are God's best work and the Devil's best tool. Remember that my friend.
Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
my bed looks and feels like i need to buy plan b.
the number of months ive had a girlfriend in my life divided by the number of blowjobs ive gotten is extremely depressing...
Apparently oprah and I were in competition to see who's ass could get bigger this summer
He did a double fist pump when he discovered the Magnums fit and skipped back towards the bed.
after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
I'm just gonna plan on never getting a bf. everything I touch turns to gay
I just want a pillowcase full of fast food so I can eat and sleep this hangover away
Showed up physical therapy hammered. The therapist just says this isnt part of the program.
I am just saying if Clark Kent walks into your life, you fuck him
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
Why do I have "apologize to Dave Coulier" written on my hand?
She stopped me mid sex to ask if she could finish my ramen, I've found the one.
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
Randomize
